


The Ex-Angel and the Hunter Get Married

by YoyoDeano



Series: Bam! Went My Heart [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Handfasting, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Castiel (Supernatural), Idiots in Love, M/M, Marriage, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Topping from the Bottom, Weddings, Witchcraft, hunter husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 18:13:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18504394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoyoDeano/pseuds/YoyoDeano
Summary: “It doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” Dean protested. He sighed and rubbed his face, “It’s... It makes me nervous.”“About?”“About you. And the parts of me you’d feel when I’d rather you didn’t.”





	The Ex-Angel and the Hunter Get Married

**Author's Note:**

> The Final Part in my Series!  
> Thank you to the betas, FPwoper, who worked reaLLY HARD to fix my mess of a fic
> 
> There is a Handfasting ceremony in this fic, I researched and did my best do it justice (Although I did add the magical bits) It is a very beautiful Celtic and Pagan tradition.
> 
> Please feel free to look at the previous parts before jumping into this one.

Dean opened his eyes to see two faces staring down at him. He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light. He didn’t remember coming back to the bunker. The last thing he remembered was being in Colorado, surrounded by a nest of vampires... and now he’s in the infirmary.

There was a collective sigh from everyone in the room. Dean moved to sit up but was stopped by Sam and Cas’ hands on his shoulders.

“No, don’t,” Sam said, eyes rimmed with dark circles and couple of yellow bruises blotting his face. Dean complied, lying back against the pillows, a splitting migraine starting to sink its teeth into his head.

“What happened?” Dean choked out, sounding like he swallowed sandpaper. Talking made it worse, his throat feeling like a thousand nails just went down it. Cas handed him a glass of water. He didn’t look much better than Sam with a split lip and a stitch above his eyebrow. Dean generously gulped the water down, soothing his throat. 

Sam glanced at Cas before looking back at Dean. Worry was etched onto his features as he cleared his throat. “When we were in Colorado, the vamps somehow got the jump on us and you got knocked out…for eight days.”

“Just say what really happened, Sam. Tell your brother what he did,” Cas bit out angrily.

Sam sighed and tucked his hair behind his ears. “We were fighting off the vamps and you killed the one that was attacking you. You saw that one of them was hurting Cas and—”

“—Barrelled in without thinking and the vampire threw you through the side of the barn.” Cas leaned back against his chair, crossing his arms.

Sam’s shoulders drooped. “Yeah, that.”

Cas hadn’t looked in Dean’s direction since he woke up. Cas’ eyes were red and his face looked more scruffy than usual. Dean tried to sit up again and pain spiked along his spine. “You’re not seriously mad at me, are you Cas?” he grunted.

Cas finally looked at Dean and he received the iciest stare from his fiance. Then, almost too calmly, Cas got up. The way he moved up the stairs looked robotic, and then Cas left the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

Dean threw his hands up, and exclaimed, “I didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Sam shook his head and sighed. “Cas is just tired. We all are. We’ve been up for days, checking on you. Cas refused to sleep and he felt guilty for being the reason you got hurt.”

Dean rubbed his face and groaned. “Okay…okay, I’ll talk to him. Just get some sleep, you look like crap.”

Sam give a weak chuckle and got up. “Says you, jerk.” 

“Bitch.”

Dean asked Sam to help him up, after stating he’d rather be in pain in his own room. Sam slowly guided his brother off the bed. He tried to remember the fight, he really tried to figure out how the nest saw them coming. Dean was sure he covered their tracks. Dean looked into the rusted mirror at one of the sinks when he walked over to it. The giant purple bruise on his temple meant nothing to him, he got it trying to save Cas after all.

Cas had helped him wash up in the shower. Dean had tried to think of something to say to get that sour look of Cas’ face but nothing came to mind so they showered in silence. 

Once Cas had finished assisting Dean with dressing himself, Cas had grabbed his book and sat down in their bed.

Dean carefully laid down next to Cas. “Hey,” he murmured.

Cas looked up from his book, studying Dean for a moment. “Hello.”

Dean pressed his face against Cas’ side and slung an arm around his waist, “I’m sorry.”

Dean heard the book close and then fingers are sliding through his hair. “I’m trying—I just—” Cas sighed. “If something happened to you because of me... I don’t know, Dean. Sometimes, I forget that I’m mortal.”

Concern made Dean hold Cas tighter. Dean pushed him to say more. “Explain.”

Cas leaned his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes. “When the vampires attacked and I saw”—he paused—“and I saw you go through the wall like a rag doll, I tried so desperately to heal you. It was like muscle memory.” Cas brushed his fingers across Dean’s forehead. “I placed my fingers against your head and nothing. Nothing happened. I felt useless for the first time since I became human.”

“You’re not useless, Cas, you’re adjusting. Just because you’re not all powered up anymore doesn’t make you useless, we just gotta be more careful, that’s all. Besides, ” Carefully sitting up, Dean guided Cas’ hands to his face. “I’m still here. Right? It’ll take a lot more than some lame ass vampire to kill me. Okay?”

Nodding, Cas leaned forward and brushed their lips together. Soft and gentle like Dean was made of glass. “Don’t ever do that again.”

Dean chuckled and kissed Cas’ forehead. “No promises but I will certainly make an effort.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Dean…” he warned. Smiling, Dean pulled Cas down so they could both relax against the bed.

He tucked his arm behind Cas’ head and dropped a kiss to his temple. “Sorry, honey, I’ve got a weak spot for you. I can promise that I won’t do anything stupid till you have my last name, how about that?”

“I’ll take what I can get.” Cas yawned, grabbing a bottle of melatonin capsules and taking two. “But right now, what I want is to sleep. Preferably for many, many hours,” he said around the medicine.

Dean grabbed his TV remote as Cas shuffled into a comfortable sleeping position. Arms under his pillow and legs tangled around Dean’s seemed to be what helped him sleep lately. Not that Dean was complaining, it gave him a nice view of his fiance’s backside. 

Cas’ breathing slowed and evened out around the thirty minute mark of Dean’s show. He wouldn’t tell Cas he’s secretly watching “Breaking Bad” without him.

It was 3am and Dean had cruised through a season finale while answering some texts from his worried mother and Jack, who were coming home from hunting a ghoul. Cas stirred next to him, and Dean looked up from his phone, soothing a hand down Cas’ back. “Go back to sleep.” Cas blinked slowly and turned onto his side, pressing his erection against Dean’s thigh. 

“Baby—” Dean licked his lips, feeling his own cock taking an interest when Cas rolled his hips against his thigh. “You need to sleep.” Even if his dick was excited at the prospect of sliding into Cas’ tight and toned ass, the rest of body was screaming that it needed to relax and heal. “I don’t feel like moving.” Dean sighed, his limits being a hinderance at the moment. The barn wall really did a number on his back.

Cas’ fingers danced across Dean’s bare stomach “I’ll do the work.” He let his hand drift down to Dean’s clothed cock underneath the blanket. “I can’t sleep. Distract me.”

“Okay, Cas.” Dean caved easily, he really was a softie. When Cas openly expressed his want, it was a huge turn on for Dean, he wouldn’t lie about that.. It made him feel like he was wanted, desired. He couldn’t help it, he was a complicated man with simple pleasures.

Then, there was warm mouth around his cock as Dean had been too busy thinking to realize Cas disappeared under the covers. The blanket arched and dipped where Cas was sucking Dean off. Dean’s head tipped back when Cas’ clever tongue lapped around the crown of his cock and then slid down his length.

Dean didn’t remember when Cas got good at giving head but thinking straight was enough of a strain to stop caring, so he pulled back the blanket to watch the pink of Cas’ lips stretch around his cock. It was dark in the room but the light of the TV made it easy for Dean to see Cas’ hand in his pajama bottoms, loosely jerking himself. 

“Fuck, Cas, you get off on sucking my cock?” Cas didn’t have to answer because Dean knew the answer was yes. Honestly, Dean would too. He enjoyed the faces Cas made when he wrapped his lips around his cock and the noises Cas let out when Dean took him down to the hilt. Dean groaned when Cas pulled off.

“You don’t need me to answer that,” Cas said, dragging his pajama bottoms off and reaching into the nightstand for the lube. 

Dean smiled. “Maybe I just like hearing you say it.”

“You like hearing me say a lot of things,” Cas said, voice hoarse as he leaned over Dean, forearm placed against the pillow next to his head. He uncapped the lube and warmed the gel on his fingers. Dean watched intently when Cas reached behind himself to slip a finger inside.

Dean let his fingers tease lightly at Cas’ nipples as he smiled coyly. “I can’t help it. You just have one of those voices I like to hear wrecked.” 

Cas’ body was close enough for Dean to lick and bite the skin of his collarbone. Cas’ toned muscles tensed as he managed to take a second finger. Trying to help Cas relax, Dean licked his fingers and toyed with Cas’ nipples again, rolling them between his fingers as Cas prepared himself.

It had been a while. Two and a half weeks, not that Dean was counting or anything. It wasn't that there were more cases, they were just busy. Doing this and doing that, sometimes not seeing each other until the end of the night and by the time they laid together in bed at night, sleep just seemed like the more appealing idea.

Dean watched as Cas prepared himself, licking his lips. He wrapped his fingers around his cock, stroking slowly and groaning simultaneously when Cas slid his fingers out. 

“Are you sure you’re prepared, Cas?” Dean looked at Cas with furrowed brows. He gasped when a lubed hand wrapped around his cock.

“Dean, I think I've had your dick inside me enough to know what I can handle. Besides,” Cas tightened his hand slightly as he stripped Dean's cock, tilting his head like he was saying something ordinary. “I find the slight burn pleasurable.”

Dean swallowed. Fuck, Cas was going to be the death of him, he just knew it. “When my body doesn't feel like it's being held together by staples, we're going to have to explore that secret pleasure of yours.”

Cas’ chuckle turned into a moan when he sank down onto Dean's cock. Both gasped when Dean’s cockhead popped past the tight ring of muscle. Dean’s hands flew to Cas’ hips to hold him steady as he watched his dick disappear inside until his balls were flush against Cas’ ass.

Cas’ mouth hung open when he started a slow grind of his hips, the angle causing the head of Dean’s dick to push against that spot inside him. Cas anchored himself, placing his hands on Dean’s chest to lift himself up and immediately moved back down.

“Oh fuck, Cas,” Dean panted, hips jerking upward to match Cas’ downstroke. Cas’ head lolled to the side, cursing and moaning Dean’s name when he sped up his pace. The obscene sounds of skin slapping skin and wet smacks filled the air between them. Cas’ hips stuttered when Dean tugged at Cas’ dick, and Cas’ steady pace faltered as he tried to piston himself onto Dean, a pretty red flushing his chest and face from the exertion.

Dean moved his hand over Cas’ throbbing length. “That’s it, baby, use my cock.” He moaned when the tight channel clenched harder around him, gritting his teeth. “Gonna fucking cum if you keep doing that.”

Looking determined, Cas braced his hands on either side of Dean’s head, throwing his hips back even though his thighs were probably burning. “Do it, then,” he said with half-lidded eyes and a husky voice. “Fuck, I’m close—Dean, keep moving your hand like that.” 

Cas came with Dean’s name falling from his lips, trying to push Dean’s cock in as far as he could and painting Dean’s chest with white stripes. Dean followed soon after, coming as Cas constricted around his cock.

Panting, Cas rode Dean’s cock through their orgasms, trying to ride those last waves of pleasure. Cas leaned down and cupped Dean’s face, pressing gentle kisses to Dean’s lips. Moving from Dean’s lips, Cas kissed the crown of his head, careful to miss the bruise adorning it. Dean relaxed, sighing softly and holding Cas close.

Once they had calmed down, Cas rolled off of Dean and leave the room for a moment. Dean exhaled deeply. Maybe having sex hadn’t been the best idea for his injuries. His back certainly was going to hate him in the morning but whatever, it was worth it.

When Cas returned with a washcloth. Dean grimaced at the feeling as Cas cleaned his chest. “This is the only downside of you riding me.”

Cas chuckled at Dean’s displeasure. “You’ll be fine. That’s what you get for watching Breaking Bad without me.” Dean balked and Cas interjected, “Don’t say you didn’t because it’s still playing right now.”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you satisfied now?”

Cas tossed the cloth toward their laundry bin and laid back down next to Dean. “I am.”

\---

The next morning Dean was sitting at the breakfast table, putting a cold compress on his bruised forehead when Mary came in, chatting with Sam about the ghoul case before she noticed Dean and stopped. “Dean, you okay? I heard what happened.”

Dean turned around slowly and back screamed at the movement. He cracked a smile. “Yeah, I’m good.” Mary joined him at the table, “How was Oklahoma?” he asked.

Mary shrugged. “Jack is getting pretty good at recon. His fighting could still use a bit of work. I’m trying to get him to use his fists and not his powers but it’s like a reflex.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, Cas used to do the same thing. He’s smart as fuck and stupid fast with an angel blade but hand to hand?” Dean sucked in air through his teeth.

Sam sat next to Mary with a bowl of fruit and quipped, “He’s put you on your ass a few times.”

Dean took a gulp of his coffee. “Mm, true.”

Mary took a grape from Sam’s bowl. “Thanks. Speaking of Castiel, have you two decided what you wanted to do for the wedding?”

They hadn’t really put much thought into it, really. They knew they both wanted something simple and intimate since most of their friends and family were, well, dead. Cas didn’t feel comfortable with a Christian ceremony so traditional was out, Dean explained.

“Maybe a spiritual ceremony?” Sam suggested. “Not like it could be legally binding anyway. You’re dead according to the government, and Cas is technically still a missing person. You guys could do sort of handfasting.”

Dean raised his eyebrows and set the compress on the table. “A hand what?”

Sam swallowed his food before continuing, “Eileen told me about it. It’s apparently one of the oldest wedding traditions in the world. It’s a Celtic and Pagan tradition of wrapping cords around each other’s hands as a symbol of commitment and the binding of two people together. That’s where ‘tying the knot’ comes from. She said she’s heard of witches taking that idea and literally bond two people’s souls together. Those people were able to experience each other’s emotions or sense if they were in danger, and sometimes they drew comfort from the bond.”

Anything with witches or witchcraft made Dean feel an uncomfortable itch under his skin. Dean knew that not all witches were evil and wanted to use his bones for some weird magical ritual, like Max and Alicia and sometimes Rowena, but the idea still left a sour taste in his mouth. The ceremony itself seemed nice, but it was something about souls that seemed too intimate, too exposed for his liking.

Sensing Dean’s paranoia Sam continued to explain, “It’s just a suggestion, and it’s a summary of the ritual. If you really wanted to know you should ask Ellie.”

Mary stifled a laugh but Dean didn’t. “Ellie? You guys are up to pet names nowadays?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “It's just a nickname.”

“So you wouldn’t care if I called her Ellie?” Sam hunched his shoulders and Dean snorted. “Calm down, just a joke, and don’t give me that look. I won’t call her that, okay?”

Sam made a bitch face at him as Cas entered the kitchen, groggy, scuffing his socked feet against the tiles as he made his way to the coffee pot.

Dean tugged at the tie on Cas’ robe. “Hey grumpy, your daughter wants you to call her later.” 

“Mm.” Cas shuffled toward the bench with his coffee and sat next to Dean, folding his arms and resting his head on them. Dean snickered. “You going back to sleep?”

“Mhm.” 

Dean patted him on the back. “Okay, well you can keep your head down but listen to what Sammy just told me.” Cas tilted his head slightly to look at Dean as he explained the handfasting ritual and why it sounds totally dangerous and creepy.

“Doesn’t sound creepy to me,” Cas grumbled.

Dean shook his head, and protested, “Well, it does to me. The soul thing, it’s weird and I don’t like it. Do you get why that creeps me out?”

Cas just rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, kind of? It sounds like a good suggestion to me. Something to look into,” he said.

Clenching his jaw, Dean ran a hand across his forehead. “I can’t believe you think this is a good idea.” Cas opened his mouth to retort, but Dean continued, “Besides, do you even have a soul?” He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. 

It sounded angry and harsh but it was because he was scared of what it would mean to bind their souls together. Dean was sure as the sky was blue that his soul was tainted and messed up in ways that couldn’t be fixed. All of the trauma was in there: Hell, Purgatory, the Mark of Cain. All the death and hurt, wrapped up inside and buried deep and if Cas even felt a fraction of it, Dean didn’t know what Cas would do. Would he hate him, or think less of him? They’d be stuck like that until one of them died. Dean couldn’t stand to think of Cas seeing and feeling all that darkness inside of him. He didn’t want that for either of them, but he also didn’t like the heavy hearted look written all over Cas’ face.

“I didn’t—”

Cas held his hand up to stop Dean. “No, you’re right. I don’t know if I have a soul. I was created an angel and even if I am human now…” He took a deep breath. “It doesn’t mean I have all of the proper equipment to be one. I mean, I can barely sleep most nights, that’s something every human requires, right? And even if I have one, you have made it abundantly clear, it’s not something you feel comfortable sharing with me.” Cas got up and grabbed his water bottle off the table, his back almost too straight as he started out the kitchen. “I’m going to call Claire.”

Sam and Mary shared an awkward look, like a kid whose parents just fought in front of them. Mary gently touched Dean’s arm, like she was approaching a wild animal. “Dean, what’s this really about?”

Dean hugged himself harder and picked up his mug. “Don’t know, don’t wanna talk about it,” he muttered. His coffee was already cold and bitter so he got up and dumped it in the sink.

\--  
It was around lunchtime when Dean felt brave enough to go find Cas in the bunker. Jack told him that Cas was in the library. Dean walked towards the library, hesitant and unsure as he approached the archway. He knew he fucked up and the feeling of guilt filled his chest and hands started to sweat uncomfortably. Cas was sitting in a recliner that Sam pulled in there one day to replace one of the library’s uncomfortable chairs for something more comfortable during late night researching. Cas had turned the chair to the side in order to extend the footrest, reading something obscure.

“Hey Cas.”

He looked up from his book. “Hello, Dean.” Cas had clearly showered and shaved but his eyes still looked puffy and tired.

Dean pulled out a chair and sat right next to the recliner, leaning an elbow on its armrest. “What’re you reading?”

“Something called The Bull Rider’s Christmas Baby.” He chuckled at the title of his book. “I found it at the gas station. It looked…interesting.”

“Listen, Cas, I wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

Cas looked at him wearily, folding the corner of his page and setting the book down. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” Dean grasped Cas’ chin when he turned to look down and close himself off. “Cas, look at me, it wasn’t okay. I was being an insecure dick. I shouldn’t have said that to you.”

“What are you insecure about, Dean? Did I do something to make you feel this way?”

Dean grimaced. “No, no, it’s just me being myself, I guess.” Cas took Dean’s hand in his, anchoring him to the room and protecting him from his own wandering mind. “I don’t feel like talking about it. Can I just sit here for a while?”

Cas shuffled closer to Dean and draped his arm over Dean’s shoulders as best he could from his seat. Cas still looked like he had some unanswered questions, it was written all over his face—furrowed brow and his lip tucked in between his teeth—but he just opened his book and started reading again. Dean was grateful that Cas would just let them sit in silence for a while. The arm across his shoulders was warm and calming, and Dean could feel the heat radiating from Cas’ skin seeping through his t-shirt. The position wasn’t comfortable and his back was screaming at him to lie down and rest, but he wanted to bask in the warmth for a little while longer.

\--

It wasn’t until two weeks later that the topic of souls and marriage was brought up again. It took the shape of Eileen Leahy walking down the bunker steps, backpack slung over her shoulder and a journal in the one of her hands.

Dean smiled and hugged her after Sam made a mad dash from the kitchen to scoop her up in his arms. Dean swore he’d never seen his brother move that fast. Eileen blushed as Sam signed animatedly at her and she shook her head and laughed. Dean could only pick up some words Sam signed. Cute, maybe Donkey or Horseshoe? Dean made a mental note to brush up on his sign language so he wouldn't embarrass himself next time his brother's girlfriend came over.

Eileen looked at Dean and smiled. “I heard you are engaged. Congratulations. Where is your fiance? I don’t think we’ve met.”

Fumbling, Dean embarrassingly signed a bit clumsily, turning red at his lack of ability but he tried to speak clearly so she could at least read his lips. “Supply run with Jack, whom I think you haven’t met either.”

Eileen smiled and signed along with her words. “I met Jack already, he asked me if Leprechauns were real.” Dean chuckled. Sam took her bag from her shoulder and heaved it onto his own.

Dean raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Looking for a room for her to stay in?”

Sam shot him a glare as he took her hand and started out to the hallway. “No, she’s staying in my room.”

Dean shook his head and called after them, “Have fun, you crazy kids! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

A muffled “shut up” came from the distance in reply.

The bunker door screeched open as Cas and Jack walked in with armfuls of brown grocery bags. Dean met them at the bottom of the staircase to relieve them of some of the supplies. 

Now with his hand free, Cas heaved up his jeans. “My pants were sliding off.”

Dean eyed the jeans for a second. They weren’t new and Cas only owned two pairs, none of which have an oil stain at the knee. “That’s ‘cause they’re mine.” Dean’s eyes travelled upwards to the gray faded shirt Cas was wearing. “And I think the shirt is mine too.”

Cas shrugged, leading them into the kitchen. “The jeans were an accident but the shirt was on purpose. I need to wash my clothes.”

Jack shoved all the bags he was carrying onto the table quickly. “I heard Eileen was coming. I’m going to go ask her about this lore I read about a mermaid and apple trees,” he said hurriedly before walking out the kitchen.

Cas yelled after him, “Make sure you knock!” Then, he shook his head and started to empty the bags. “I hope he doesn’t barge in on anything. I’m not ready to give him the talk.” 

Dean grabbed a brown bag from the table. “Nobody’s ready to give him the talk,” he said, beginning to put the groceries away. He liked moments like these. Doing something as simple as putting away groceries or needing to do the laundry warmed his chest. He loved being so domestic. He wanted to indulge in his little fantasy where the most complicated thing in his life was answering the question of what they were having for dinner that night, but he was happy with the little moments he had like this.

He took two long strides over to Cas and tucked his head over his shoulder, letting his hands relax on Cas’ hips. Cas looked at him like Dean hung the moon for him and Dean felt that warm feeling bloom on his face. How could someone who looked at Dean like that not have a soul? “Don’t look at me like that,” Dean chided gently.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, like you think I’m something worthwhile.”

Cas scoffed, turning around to face him, a slight smile gracing his lips. “You have this uncanny ability to believe you are anything less.” He pressed his hand against the center of Dean’s chest. “I put you back together, piece by piece. I’ve seen all the good and wonderful parts and all the bad and ugly parts of you. I think I have good grasp on what makes something worthwhile.” Cas pressed a loving but quick kiss to Dean’s lips. “So I will continue to look at you in such manner and if you have problem with it, then tough, because I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.” 

“I’ve been stuck with you ever since we met. If I haven’t convinced you to leave me yet then I don’t know what will drive you off.”

Cas squinted, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. “Considering you stabbed me, I don’t know what will either.”

Dean groaned dramatically. “I stabbed you one time! You’re never letting that go, are you?”

Cas smiled wide at Dean’s melodramatic reaction. “No, I’m not. Hard to forget that I’ve been attacked.” Dean slid his hands into the back pockets of Cas’ jeans, lips curling into a cocky smile. “I thought you liked being stabbed.”

Confusion washed over Cas. “No, I don’t.”

He’s cute when he's confused, Dean mused, tucking his head down to kiss Cas’ jaw. “No?”

Cas sighed, finally getting the joke. “Yes.” 

“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” Dean slotted their mouths together in a slow kiss. Cas leaned back against the countertop, sliding his hands along Dean’s arms. He brushed his tongue against Dean’s lips and Dean gladly opened his mouth to reciprocate.

Dean wasn’t willing to accept how much Cas’ little speech earlier meant to him or how he was avoiding dealing with his emotions by drowning himself in pleasure. If he had to choose between dealing with his inner demons or kissing Castiel’s sweet mouth until his lips were sore and he was breathless, he’d choose those heated kisses every time.

Cas let out a surprised sound from the back of his throat when Dean pressed his hips against his. Rucking up Cas’ shirt and pressing his palms against the warm skin on Cas’ back, Dean felt him jolt under his hands from the contact. 

They suddenly jumped apart when a throat was loudly cleared in the kitchen. “You know other people live here, right?” Sam said, looking thoroughly grossed out catching his brother and best friend making out in the kitchen. Eileen stood next to him, trying not to laugh at the flustered faces around her.

Cas fixed his shirt and muttered an embarrassed “Sorry” as Eileen walked up to him and held out her hand. “You’re Cas, right?” 

Cas smiled and shook her hand, trying not to feel mortified about how his first meeting with the female hunter is going. “Castiel, but Cas suits me better now,” he signed gracefully as he spoke. Of course he was better at sign language than you, Dean berated himself. “And you must be Eileen. Sam talks about you all the time.”

Eileen blushed and turned her head to tease Sam, signing, “All the time, huh?”

Sam smiled sheepishly, “Not all the time,” he signed back.

Turning the embarrassment table on Sam, Dean slung his arm over Cas’ shoulders and smiled cheekily. “Oh yeah, non-stop. Never shuts up about you.”

Sam folded his arms and pursed his lips , which reminded Dean of when he was a kid and would pout when Dean would make fun of him. “You know, you two were better when you weren’t talking.”

Dean was about to make a witty comment back when Eileen held out a journal in her hand. “A wedding gift.” She looked thoughtfully at the journal and then at Dean. “It was my mother’s when she was hunting. I figured you would have some use for it.” Dean held his breath--if anyone knew how important a parent’s journal was, it was him. It was more than just cases and lore, it was like a diary. Hunters so often lived off the grid that their journal was the only trace of their existence. Dean gulped. “Eileen, I-I can’t take this.”

“I insist.” She placed the book in his hand “Besides, I have it all memorized anyway.”

Dean looked down at the book in his hand, feeling the weight of it settle in his bones. He then pressed his hand to his chin and outward to the air, signing as well as speaking, “Thank you.”  
\--

Dean didn’t touch the journal until the next night. He picked it up from his nightstand hesitantly, as if the book was going to burst into flames, and got comfortable in bed. The journal was a dark mossy green with old gold plates on its edges, and a clasp securing it all together. It was well kept, in a better condition than his dad’s journal, no loose pages or sticky notes jutting out from its bindings. Undoing the clasp and turning past the front cover, he saw the name “Maura Durbin” written inside. It had been scratched out with blue pen, with “Maura Leahy” written just below it.

Next to that was a crude picture of what appeared to be a changeling and then notes about her encounter written neatly on the lined paper. Then at the bottom, written smaller than the rest of her musings she had written almost shyly:

“It’s my birthday today! I can’t believe I’m 20, I also can’t believe I’m hunting a changeling on my birthday. It’s been raining the whole time I’ve been in Dublin hunting this damn thing. On the bright side, I met a boy... he offered me his umbrella after mine flew out of my hand. So embarrassing.” 

Dean felt the bed dip as Cas joined him. He was only slightly aware of the kiss Cas placed on his temple, still engrossed in his reading. 

“March 18th,

Saw the boy again, his name is Padraic. I thought he was a monster trying to follow me but it turns out he found my umbrella and wanted to give it back to me. Other than that, changelings apparently aren’t fire retardant, learned that the hard way. I think I’ll stay one more day in Dublin to relax.” 

Dean read through most of her entries. She mentioned other cases, other hunters she’d met, and even mentioned her dad a few times. She described his desire for her to become a legacy like him, but it was clear that she’d rather not. 

“My dad wants me to join his little club so bad! I just don’t want to. I like being able to move on my own and go wherever I want to for cases. It’s just annoying that whenever I see him, he brings it up, even after I said no. Anyway, Padraic doesn’t think it’s a good idea either. He gets so red in the face when he talks about how much he misses me when I go away on hunts. He’s so cute, God, I love him so much.”

Dean smiled to himself. Yeah, he could definitely relate to an overbearing father figure telling him what to do all the time. Dean wished he had been brave enough to tell John “no” sometimes but he didn’t want to cause a rift in the already fractured family. But he still loved his dad and there was no changing the past now.

He continued to read but an entry in August really caught his eye. 

August 23rd,

Back from a hunt in London. I’ve never seen the Big Ben before in real life, it was amazing to see in person. Hunted the ghost of Jack the Ripper, and it turns out he was pretty easy to get rid of, but I broke my arm after he flung me across the alleyway. Padraic was so upset that I got hurt. He said: “I can’t have my future wife be all broken when we tie the knot.” He’s so dramatic sometimes.”

Then on the page next to it was a what looked to be ropes tied together in an infinity symbol, colored in with various colored pencils. “Handfasting rope correlations”

“Orange for encouragement, adaptability, kindness.  
Pink for love and happiness  
Light blue for patience and understanding”

A few weeks were missing between that entry and the next one she had written. Maybe she was busy or something, Dean thought, feeling weary but also anxious to read further. The handfasting ritual, again? Dean mentally sighed. Maybe it was something to look into. Plus, Cas seemed to like the idea. But the dread from before seeped its way into his gut and a question echoed around in his mind again:

“Besides, do you even have a soul?”

Dean wanted to punch his past self for even asking a question like that but at the same time, it was a valid question. Did Cas even have a soul? Every soulless person Dean had come across, even Sam, said they felt nothing, like a giant wormhole in their core. Just emptiness and an endless nothing. They didn’t know joy, sorrow, anger, love - and Cas? Even when he was an angel, a being of muted and unnerving nothingness, he would feel too many emotions to be normal. Maybe he was copying what he saw? Sure, Dean was an emotional wreck, and maybe Cas picked up on some of his cues.

Dean glanced down at Cas, deeply asleep, somehow managing to have slung an arm over Dean’s middle with his face tucked into his side. Dean gently brushed his fingers along Cas’ sharp cheekbones. He hoped with everything he had that Cas didn’t experience the pain of feeling nothing at all. 

“September 19th,

Padraic and I have decided to go on a honeymoon to where we first met: Dublin. The trees are starting to change and It’s so beautiful. The ceremony went well yesterday, better than I had hoped. I have to admit I was a little nervous, I wasn’t sure if Padraic would still want to be with me afterwards. Considering, well, he’s a civilian while I’ve been hunting since I was fifteen. I’ve just been through so much, especially when mom died a couple years ago. I was scared he couldn’t handle taking on all that baggage. But he assured me that he loves me with all the turmoil.”

“November 2nd, 

I think I finally understand why I did this. It’s a bit more than just letting someone shoulder all of your fears and doubts with you. It’s letting them be with you in a way no one else can. Feel everything without needing to talk about it. Comfort each other whenever we’re apart. I don’t feel so alone anymore. Even when I go away on hunts, I feel like he’s right here with me and it makes me feel a little braver, a little stronger, knowing he’s there. And when I have those nightmares, the ones where I wake up screaming, he just envelops me in arms and I can feel it right in my bones that he’s comforting me and I can forget about all bad things for a while.”

Closing the journal, Dean put it aside. Suddenly feeling tired, he sunk into his memory foam mattress. He had to think, had to process what he’d just read. He could have that with Cas, that bond. It wouldn’t fix all of his issues -- he didn’t believe that it could -- but it would be nice to feel like he wasn’t buried so deep in his bullshit that no one could drag him out of it, not to feel insecure about himself, his relationship, his family. It seemed so easy when she said like it was a goddamn cure-all. But she didn’t go through the nightmares Dean went through, she didn’t see what he saw or experience what he’d had to deal with. Dean closed his eyes. 

But still, it would be nice.

\--

Walking into the kitchen the next morning, Dean found Cas and Jack eating some sort of sugary cereal together, laughing about the joke on the back of the cereal box. He felt lightheaded as he sat down across from Cas, but he had to say it or it would echo in his head all day.

“I want to try handfasting.” Dean rushed out.

Cas coughed around a mouthful of cereal, “I’m sorry, what?”

“You know...” He shifted nervously. “Handfasting, I wanna, I want to do that with you.”

Cas gulped and looked at Jack. “Jack, could you leave us alone for a moment? We need to have a private conversation.” Dean felt like he was going to vomit as Jack left the kitchen with his bowl in hand. Did Cas change his mind? Maybe he didn’t want to do this anymore.

Taking Dean’s hand in his, Cas looked at him skeptically. “Dean, are you just saying this because it’s something I wanted to do?”

“No.”

“Because if it is, than I have no interest in doing something that makes you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” Dean protested. He sighed and rubbed his face, “It’s... It makes me nervous.”

“About?”

“About you. And the parts of me you’d feel when I’d rather you didn’t.” Castiel sighed, getting up and embracing Dean. Dean welcomed the touch, pushing his face in Castiel’s stomach.  
“The dark, shitty Dean parts,” he mumbled into Cas’ shirt.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “And you’d feel all the dark, shitty Castiel parts. Dean, I love you, because you went through those experiences and you’re a better man because of it.” Dean had to look up at Cas when he took Dean’s face in his hands. “It wouldn’t be right if I ignored the dark, shitty parts of you.”

Dean felt his stomach knot and his chest burn, he laughed breathlessly, trying to blink away what he feared would be tears in his eyes. “You’ve been reading too many shitty romance novels from the gas station.” 

Cas chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of Dean’s head. “Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean that what I said is any less true.” Sitting down next to Dean, Cas rested his chin in his hands. “Although, if we are going to do this, we have to make sure I have the right equipment to do so.”

\--  
It was 4am when Dean felt the bed shake and he opened his eyes to see Cas rushing to the motel bathroom. He slammed the door shut behind him, followed by retching sounds.

They were on their way to see the Banes family, in hopes they could use their magic to see if Cas had a soul. Max and Alicia had said that their mother would be able to help them. 

Dean threw back the covers and knocked on the bathroom door. “I’m coming in, okay?” He opened the door and saw Cas hunched over the toilet bowl, spitting. Dean bent down and gently rubbed his back. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” It made Dean nervous, Cas has been acting strange since they started this road trip.

Cas wiped his mouth and rubbed glassy eyes. “It’s nothing,” he managed, throat thick with bile. “Go back to bed.”

Dean flushed the toilet and heaved Cas up by the armpits. “Alright, come lay down at least. You’re not gonna feel any better with your head in the toilet.” 

After Cas brushed his teeth, he laid back down in the motel bed, turning away from Dean in order to curl in on himself. Dean wouldn’t want to cuddle after puking either. A few silent beats passed and Dean could tell Cas hadn’t fallen asleep. He was shifting around like he was uncomfortable in his own skin. The movements were small twists and turns, but they were enough to keep Dean awake.

Dean flinched when he felt rough hands wrap around his middle and a solid chest press against his back. Cas smothered his face into the back of his neck and croaked, “What if there’s something wrong with me?”

Dean rested his hands over Cas’ and tried to look back at him but couldn’t turn his head far enough to see Cas. “You’re just sick, babe. You probably had a bad burrito or something.” 

The arms around Dean tightened. “No.” Dean felt Cas sigh against his neck. “I threw up because I’m scared I’m broken.”

Dean broke their hold to turn around and look Cas in the face. His baby blues looked panicked and tired and scared all at once and they were desperately searching for something in Dean to bring him some comfort.

“You’re not broken,” Dean said.

Cas shut his eyes and Dean saw Cas build mental walls to protect himself. “I am. There’s something wrong with me.” Dean tried to hush him but Cas was already spiraling. “I was a terrible angel, and they knew something was off. I could see it, I could feel it when the other angels looked at me.” Cas spoke hesitantly, words carefully chosen as he continued. “What if I’m a terrible human too? If I’m a bad angel and an even worse human, then what am I? I am not good at being an angel or a human, so then who am I?”

Dean pulled Cas into his arms, tucking Cas’ head where his shoulder and neck met, quieting him. “Then you’re just Cas.” He felt Cas take a deep breath against his neck. “If you are anything, you’re just Cas. And I don’t know about you, but I really like Just Cas.”

Cas pushed Dean away enough to look him in the eyes, a fearful stare that made Dean’s chest ache. “And what if Just Cas is soulless?” he asked. 

“It wouldn’t change a damn thing,” Dean said. He pressed his lips against Cas’ in a sweet exchange to punctuate his point. He wanted to kiss all the fears and troubles that were swirling around in Castiel’s head but he knew that now matter how hard he kissed him that Cas wouldn’t feel better until the Banes family told him for sure.

\--

Dean put a hand on Cas’ knee. Cas had been fidgeting since the two entered the Banes’ residence and it got even worse when they had actually sat down on the couch. Dean reassured Cas on the way that the Banes were good-natured witches and that he shouldn’t be worried. Cas just replied that it wasn’t their magical status he was worried about.

Dean looked around, feeling more comfortable in their home then he had been in any other witch’s den. When the pair had entered, there were feathers and twigs braided together with string next to the door -- a simple protection talisman, Max explained after Dean frowned at it. He shuddered, thinking that at least it wasn’t bones or some other gross shit. The living room was adorned with various plants with different magical purposes. There was an altar in the far left corner next to the window. On the altar stood a bowl surrounded with a multitude of crystals. Dean didn’t know what their uses where for. 

Max and Alicia sat across from them on the loveseat. “So, you’re the famous Castiel?” Max smiled at Cas, eyes twinkling in amusement. “Dean, I’ve got to say, you know how to pick ‘em. He sure is handsome.” Dean grinned, patting the knee his hand was on, “I know. I have great taste, don’t I?” Cas rolled his eyes but laughed lightly.

Tasha, their mother, came in with a hot mug and offered it to Cas. “I heard you were sick. It’s lemon ginger, and should help with your nerves.” Cas gratefully accepted the drink and took a small sip. She sat down in a recliner that was situated between the couch and the loveseat. Dean took notice of the sigils tattooed on her fingers, and Tasha chuckled, clearly seeing Dean’s curiosity. “Relax, they just help amplify my magic.” 

Tasha turned her gaze back to Castiel, studying him. “My children tell me that you’re human but I’m picking up on something else. Your aura is very cloudy, I can’t exactly read it like I can read other people’s.”

Castiel lowered the mug from his mouth. “My human status is new- well, kind of new.” He cleared his throat. “I used to be an angel.”

Max’s mouth went agape and Alicia cheered. “Yes! I knew it!” Max sighed defeatedly and handed her a $20 bill. She pocketed the cash and looked at Cas. “I knew Dean wouldn’t just propose to some random human. When he texted me asking if you guys could read souls, I had a feeling something was up.”

“So what do you want a soul reading for? What do you want to know?” Max asked. “You seemed to have left those details a mystery to us.”

Dean straightened up as the members of the Banes family looked at him. “Well, Cas and I, we wanted have a spiritual kind of marriage ceremony since we can’t get married in the usual sense, and in order to do that, we need to know if he has a soul.”

Tasha cocked her head. “What kind of spiritual ceremony are you thinking of?”

“Handfasting,” Cas said as he took another sip of his tea, stomach starting to feel uneasy again. 

The three of them exchanged looks before Tasha spoke up again: “Handfasting? Like the soul bonding kind of handfasting?”

Dean nodded. “Yup, that’s the one.” he said casually, like it was another day at the office.  
Tasha shifted, looking more tense. “I can certainly say this is a new one for me. I can’t say I’ve ever read a former angel for a soul before.”

“But you’d be able to do it?” Cas blurted out.

She thought briefly, then said: “I’m going to have to tweak my method but I should be able to manage that.” Standing up, Tasha walked over to her bookcase and pulled out a few books. “We will have to wait until the moon is up, it makes soul reading a bit easier on the eyes.”

Cas nodded, his stomach flipping but from excitement rather than trepidation. “Yes, of course. Thank you, Ms. Banes.”  
\--

Dean had followed the twins into the kitchen, sitting next to Alicia on the bar stools in front of the kitchen island. Much like the living room, there were plants everywhere. These plants seemed to be herbs, some in jars on the windowsill above the sink and some drying as they hung from a curtain rod. 

Max had placed what he joking called his cauldron on the stove and started boiling some water. Dean looked out the glass back door where Tasha was showing Cas her collection of various plants. He assumed that she was explaining to Cas what their magical purpose was. Dean tried not to smile at the concentrated look on Cas’ face as she pointed out different vegetables.

“So,” Alicia said, smirking at Dean when he looked embarrassed at being caught staring. “How long have you and Cas been together?”

Dean counted quietly on his fingers. “Uh, six years I think.”

Alicia eye’s widened. “That’s like forever our line of work.”

Dean chuckled. “What can I say? I’m a catch.” He watched Max open a cupboard that held more magical supplies and placed them in a violet satchel he had sitting on the side.

“In case, you’re wondering,” Max said, “I’m putting in alyssum for protection, periwinkle to promote love within the marriage, and a bit of hyacinth.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “What’s that for?”

Max smiled and shrugged. “It promotes a peaceful mind and attracts good fortune straight from the Greek God of gay love himself.” Dean watched the male witch tie the satchel with a white rope and then sandwich it between his hands. Max held it for a moment, muttering his intention before handing it to Dean. 

Reluctantly, Dean took the bag. He was certain Max wasn’t trying to curse him but he was still wary of taking the satchel. Max just grinned at him. “For the newlyweds. Listen to me, Do. Not. Eat. This. You can keep it under your mattress but no eating.”

Dean muttered his thanks, examining the satchel before pocketing it.

It was quiet for a moment, just the sounds of bubbling water and jars clinking together as Max continued with his concoction floated through the room. The twins shared a few looks between each other, communicating without words, but their questions were palpable in the air.

Before Dean could ask, Alicia spoke up. “So, what are you going to do if Cas is soulless? You guys gonna stay together?”

Confused and a little surprised, Dean’s eyebrows knit together. “Of course we’ll stay together. Soulless or not, he’s still the weird dorky guy I fell in love with.” Dean huffed, shocked by his own bluntness with his feelings. 

“Aw, see, Max? You should try to find a good guy like that,” she taunted as her brother stuck his middle finger up at her. “Where did you guys meet? Maybe Max can try his luck and find a decent boyfriend there.”

Dean deadpanned, “Hell.”  
\--

Around ten o’clock, the Banes took Dean and Cas outside, past their garden, to a cobblestone circle. Tasha had placed different candles and crystals around its perimeter, and the twins were lighting the candles as she drew her symbols on the cobblestone with chalk. 

“Lucky for us, it’s a full moon tonight,” Tasha said. “It makes it easier to read a soul’s energy.” She asked everyone but her and Cas to step out of the circle, not wanting to risk reading anyone else’s soul by accident. Castiel’s grip on Dean’s hand tightened to an almost painful grip. Cas had donned his signature reserved exterior but the look in his eyes was best described as petrified. He looked at the circle like he was going to burst into flames once he stepped inside.

Dean pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. “It’ll be okay. I’m right here.” Dean’s stomach was in knots but Cas has always been the one to anchor him and now that it was Cas who was terrified, Dean managed to swallow his anxiety. He knew he had be the strong one for both of them right now. “It’s not going to change a thing,” he whispered, kissing Cas’ worried forehead before dropping his hand.

Cas nodded at him and stepped into the circle, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Tasha joined him, placing a cushion on the ground. “Please remove your shirt and any other physical barriers that may prevent me from seeing your soul.”Cas pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it over to Dean. “I know it’s a bit cold out but since you were a cosmic being, the direct moonlight will be our friend tonight. Please lay down and place your head on the pillow.” Cas immediately obeyed, exhaling sharply when his head hit the pillow. The stone biting into his back was painful but he’d survive.

Tasha kneeled down next to him, opening her palms up to the night sky and chanting something in a language Dean didn’t understand. Max leaned towards Dean and whispered, “She’s invoking the spirits around her to protect them from any hostile magic that may try to attack. Soul reading on this level is potent stuff.” 

Tasha’s eyes burned purple as she draped her hands over Castiel’s torso, placing one hand on his sternum and the other on the center of his stomach. Her hands started to glow with the same purple shade as her eyes and her eyes slipped close as her facial expressed moved towards… confusion or frustration, Dean couldn’t tell. Neither seemed a good sign.

“Oh,” she uttered.

Dean straightened up and Cas shifted uncomfortably. “Oh?” 

Tasha opened her eyes again. “This is definitely something I’ve never seen before.” Cas looked up at her, preparing for the worst. “Castiel, you have soul. The strange thing is that it’s more than billions of years old.”

“And what does that mean?” Dean inquired, just as confused at Cas must be feeling. 

Tasha stammered, “Well, like people, souls have ages too. Typically, it’s however long you’ve been alive for, or how often your soul has cycled through the Wheel of Year. The twins’ souls are both 24 and mine is 46. I figured that, with your newly assumed status as human, it couldn’t have been a full cycle.” She searched again with her glowy eyes like she was double checking. “Yours is almost 4.2 billion years old.”

Dean felt his mouth go dry as he almost couldn’t ask, “Cas, how old are you?” Cas closed his eyes, realizing probably the same thing as Dean was.

“4 billion, 2 million, 43 thousand and 67 years old.”  
\--

The guest room in the Banes house echoed with pacing as Cas chased around himself in circles. Dean almost made himself dizzy with how many times he’d watched Cas go back and forth. When he finally had had enough, he rose and grabbed his fiance’s shoulders. “Baby, why are you pacing? This is a win.”

Cas ran his hands through his hair. “They must have known. My brothers and sisters, they must have sensed it. My grace had burned too brightly to see the soul within me but they must have felt the mutation. It only proved them right to see me as a failure of an angel.”

Even when Dean couldn’t tell the angels apart, when they were all winged bastards with no compassion in their eyes, Cas had always felt different. Not just because Dean preferred him to the other junkless dickbags, but also because Cas had been too caring to be an angel, too curious, too stubborn, too willing to do what he thought was right regardless of the consequences. 

When they met on the park bench after failing to protect the seal of Samhain, Cas had expressed doubt and fear about knowing what would become of the world. He felt sad for Dean’s burden and sad for his father’s creation. 

The old words once muttered by now dead angels echoed in Dean’s mind. Words that just seemed like doubt and abuse towards Cas, now feeling more true than ever.

Samandriel looked at Dean, a certain sadness in his eyes. “You know.. there are some in Heaven who still believe that, despite his...mistakes, that Castiel's heart was always in the right place.” 

Dean looked at the angel cautiously. “Are you one of them?”

Samandriel lifted his chin, a sharpness to his words. “I think that too much heart was always Castiel's problem.”

Dean pulled Cas closer to him, wrapping him in a tight embrace.  
\--

In the morning, Dean woke up to whispering next to him. Turning over, he saw Cas with a pair of earbuds in, watching his phone. Dean stretched, his back popping and catching Cas’ attention. 

“Your brother is awake,” he said to the phone before looking back at Dean and taking out one earbud. Dean’s eyes still felt heavy, and he could just smother himself in Cas’ side and go back to sleep, but he didn’t like the thought of Sam seeing him cuddle up with his fiance. That thought went out the window when Cas held his arm out, an open invitation to come and sleep for a little while longer. Dean huffed grumpily and crowded into Cas’ space. 

Resting his head on Cas’ chest, Dean ground out, “Sam, you’d better not say a damn word about this.”

Cas chuckled, bringing his arm around Dean’s broad shoulders, hushing him. “Sam can’t even see you.” Cas gently rubbed circles on his arm. “I won’t tell him how adorably grumpy you are in the morning.”

There was a distant and muffled laugh from the earbud and Dean groaned. “Cas, stop.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop.”

Sam and Cas continued their conversation. Apparently, they were talking about how Sam convinced Eileen to watch “Game of Thrones” and her reactions to the first scenes of the show.

Dean had barely been listening, only drifting back and forth between sleep and wakefulness until Cas said his name. “I’m still trying to process everything but Dean seems elated at the news.” There was a pause and then he continued, “No, no, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy too, it’s just a lot to take in.” A muffled response from Sam too distant for Dean to pick up followed, and then Cas sighed. “I know.”

After that Sam must have switched the conversation to something lighter and funnier because Dean could feel the rumble of laughter in Cas’ chest as he slipped back into sleep.  
\--

Another month had passed and autumn started to fade in as the last vestiges of summer were leaving. Dean wasn’t in a rush to plan this handfasting ceremony and neither was Cas. Cases were coming in and time was quickly passing by with no notice to the pair. From time to time, they would discuss some of the different things they wanted to do, but there was one thing Dean hadn’t thought of.

“A bachelor party?” Dean raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “I mean, I’m all for hanging out with strippers but what about Cas? He’s the groom too.”

Sam sat down across from him. “It’s not like I didn’t offer to throw him one too,” he explained. “He said if he goes into a strip club then he will never be able to wash off all the glitter. Plus, he’s taking Claire and Jack camping for the weekend.”

Dean chuckled. “Sam, you don’t even like strip clubs.”

“You like ‘em.”

“If we’re being honest... if we’re gonna do this, blame my old age or something, but I’d rather just get a shit ton of beer and spend some good old quality time with my brother. When’s the last time we hung out, just me and you?”

Sam thought for a moment and then clapped his hand on the table. “Well, if that’s what you want to do, then I’ll go get the beer.” Dean tossed his keys and Sam caught them, saying that he’d be back soon. Sam left, and when the bunker door opened, Dean heard a female voice coming from the entrance.

“Hey Claire!” Dean yelled from his seat. Claire walked down the steps with a bag over her shoulder and smiled slightly. “Hey, old man,” she greeted, leaning down and hugging him with her free arm. Dean smiled and patted the arm she hugged him with, saying, “I heard you’re going camping.”

She dropped her bag on the table and took the seat next to Dean, propping her feet up on the table. Dean tried not to smile at the mimicry as his own feet were on the table too. “Yeah, Cas wanted us to do some family bonding or something.”

Dean smiled. “My dad used to take Sammy and me camping all the time.”

Claire groaned, “Don’t tell me old stories about you and your dad.” 

“Don’t talk to your stepfather like that,” Dean joked and Claire prodded him with her foot.“Shut up, you’re not married yet. And Cas isn’t even my real dad, dumbass,” she said, trying not to crack a smile.

“Claire!” 

Claire sighed dramatically as Jack came in and hugged her. “Hey Jack, you’re as chipper as the last time I saw you.”

Jack smiled. “Thanks.”

Claire squinted. “That wasn’t a compliment.”

Dean nudged her with his elbow. “Hey, be cool,” he said in a low whisper. “You know you’re like a big sister to him.”

Claire rolled her eyes but sat up in her seat and turned towards Jack. “So, you ready to go? Cas said we can go hiking once we get there.”

“Yes, I heard. I’m very excited to go fishing again. Dean and I fish occasionally, so I feel confident that I’m gonna catch something this time.”

Claire nodded, shifting her weight uncomfortably as she suggested, “Well, let me know if want me to join you or whatever. I’m decent at it.” 

“Thank you, Claire, I will take you up on that offer.” 

Everyone looked towards Cas as he walked in, greeting Claire and giving her a hug. He said that he had packed up the car for the trip and was ready to go whenever they were.

Dean took his feet off the table and sat up when Cas came over to him, saying, “Have fun with Sam. Don’t drag glitter into our room.”

Dean smiled up at him. “Don’t worry about the glitter, Sam and I are having movie night. Have a good time with the kids.”

Cas sighed, relieved that he wouldn’t have to live in a glitter-induced nightmare. He leaned in and pecked Dean’s lips, much to Claire’s annoyance.  
“Ew, gross,” she whined.  
Dean stifled a laugh and gave Cas another brief kiss. “Text me when you get there.”

“I will.”

The trio left and Dean went to his man cave to set up for movie night, picking out various Westerns he wanted to torture Sam with watching for the millionth time. He didn’t care if Sam didn’t want to watch them again, as it was his bachelor party and he could do what he wanted.

Sam returned and he set down the beers on the coffee table. “Why am I not surprised you picked Clint Eastwood?” he said, shaking his head.

Dean grabbed a beer and leaned back against his seat. “Because Westerns are awesome?”

Sam sat on the other end of the couch, opening his beer, the corners of his mouth tugging up in a half smile. “Whatever, man. It’s your day, I won’t give you shit for it this time.”

Dean felt smug as he was spared from his little brother’s whining and pressed play on the movie. 

About halfway through the second Western lined up in their marathon, Dean decided to tell Sam about one of the parts of the ceremony. “So Cas and I decided that we wanted you, Jack, Claire and Mom to pick out one of the cords for the ceremony.”

Sam looked at him, slightly stunned, and Dean quickly continued. “You know, since we’re all family. Cas is asking Jack and Claire and I already asked Mom...”

“No, I’ll do it,” Sam said. “No problem.”

Dean took a sip of beer, warmth filling his stomach, “Awesome. Thanks, Sammy.”  
\--

October 21st seemed to be the day to do it. It was cool but not too cold, and the cases slowed down enough that other hunters in their network could easily take care of the ones that showed up. Dean felt like he was going to pass out. He was excited, beyond ecstatic, but it didn’t help the butterflies that seemed to be trying to destroy his stomach. 

They drove in separate cars, keeping the old tradition of not seeing your intended before the ceremony. It might be paranoid, but Dean really didn’t need the bad luck, as he’d had enough of it already.

Sam and Mary rode with Dean. Sam was holding the box of things they needed for the ceremony. The box had been firmly closed for a while, the cords hidden. Dean and Cas didn’t know which cords their family had picked. Dean pulled up to the area they had chosen, parking Baby at its edge. He didn’t want any rocks or branches to hurt her tires or undercarriage. 

It was a nice field, filled with plenty of trees, and far enough from the main road that any passersby wouldn’t be able to see the ritual. The last thing they needed was a civilian freaking out and calling the police. Dean pulled his jacket closer to himself and cleared his throat. “Mom, you said you checked this out already?”

Mary nodded. “Yep, on my way back this morning. It checks out. Nothing that might go bump in the night seems to be around. I think we’re good.”

“And Cas said he’s on his way?”

Sam checked his phone again. “He should be here any minute. I’m going to go set up,” he replied, grabbing a fold-out table out of the trunk and walking deeper into the trees to look for a flat patch to start setting up the items.

Mary put her hand on Dean’s shoulder and raised her eyebrows in a concern. “You okay?”

Dean shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, just pre-wedding jitters, you know.”

Mary smiled. “You’ll be fine. I promise that once you see Cas, all those worries will go away. I felt the same way when you dad and I got married. Although I actually vomited beforehand.”

Dean snorted, feeling slightly better. “Thanks, mom.”

Dean answered his phone when he felt it vibrate in his pocket. “Hey, Rowena. Yeah, I see you.” He raised his arm to wave at the approaching car. Rowena was not his first choice when it came to witches officiating his wedding, but he’d asked Tasha first. However, Tasha was going to be out of town, so the next best witch he knew was the small redhead who was currently getting out of her taxi. Surprisingly, she was more than happy to do it, boasting that she knew more about handfasting than Tasha Banes ever could.

Rowena said. “I’ll try not to be hurt that I wasn’t your first choice.”

“Well, just don’t hex us or something, okay?”

She scoffed. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Dean. Besides, I love a good wedding.” She seemed to look over Dean’s appearance and groaned. “You’re joking, right? You’re wearing flannel and jeans to your own wedding?”

Dean shrugged. “I’m not wearing a monkey suit. I want to be comfortable at my wedding, alright?” 

Rowena huffed as she followed Dean and Mary into the trees to meet up with Sam. 

It wasn’t much longer after they finished setting up that Sam got the text that Cas and the kids had arrived. Dean buzzed with adrenaline and he forced himself to close his eyes as he heard various footsteps crunch the leaves on the forest floor. 

“No peeking, Cas,” he heard Claire say. Cas replied something, and Dean was sure that the buzzing under his skin was noticeable now because Cas was here and they were about do this. He was sure that he was about to follow in his mother’s footsteps and puke all over their makeshift altar.

The footsteps stopped and there was a pause before Jack said, “Okay, open!”

They did, and Dean stopped breathing. He was sure he had died because Cas was right in front of him and he couldn’t, in a million years, have thought that he would be marrying his best friend. Not in this life, not in any life.

“You’re wearing your coat?” Dean somehow managed.

Cas pulled on the fabric and laughed softly. “Yes, I guess I’m sentimental.”

Dean felt his throat tighten and tried to clear it. “It’s good. It’s classic. I like the coat.”

They tore their eyes away from each other for a moment to look at Rowena as she opened a book on the altar. The others were standing on their other side, an audience to the ceremony. 

Rowena began her reading by saying, “As you can see, a sacred circle has been cast on the ground around us. Stay inside the circle and visualize positive and loving energy as it helps curate the bond.” She continued, “I will start by saying thank you to the family members present today. I am aware that not all desired members are with us anymore but they are here in spirit alongside us. We are here to witness a pair allowing us into a very personal moment in their lives and share our joy over their bond. Let's take a moment to understand the meaning of what we are doing here today. The Ritual itself is meant to create change. The promises and vows you take today must be realistic and practical in order to create a long-lasting marriage. It requires unconditional love because you are human and humans are not perfect. You have to accept that there will be hurt, there will be anger, but that those things will never be stronger than your affection and love for each other. You have to know in your heart that you trust the person in front of you to never hurt you out of hatred or pettiness or spite and trust that they will love you because you are flawed and not despite it. And these are the promises we are here to witness today.”

Rowena took a breath and so did Dean. He didn’t even know he was holding it. She turned a page in the book and read for a moment before speaking up. “Next, we will consecrate the rings.” She looked up and Sam and Mary held up the two silver bands, Cas having removed his a day prior and giving it to Sam to hold onto.

“Sam and Mary carrying the rings shows how Dean and Castiel’s marriage is supported by the love of their family and friends, and how we hope that their bond is successful and strong. Please place the rings in their hands.”

Stepping closer, Sam and Mary put the rings in Dean and Castiel’s open palms as Rowena started to consecrate them. “Keep safe the pair who wears these rings, and the powers that be: support them in their forever with your blessing.”

Rowena held up her own left hand, pointing to her ring finger and continued speaking. “Please place the ring on your intended, as the ring symbolizes never-ending and infinite love.” 

Dean grasped Cas’ hand, shaking, as he pushed the ring onto Cas’ finger. He was hoping that Cas didn’t feel the tremble in his hand as he did the same, slipping the silver band onto Dean’s ring finger.

Dean barely heard Rowena continue the blessing as she asked the four elements to bless their marriage: Air to help with communication and to see them grow wiser together as people, and fire so that the passion in their bond would remain strong and vibrant, bringing bravery and no fear of change. Water, so that their love might be as deep as the sea and surround them forever. And finally Earth, for stability and a constant reminder that they were in this together.

Rowena turned around and picked up the cotton cords. They were 9 feet long, and Dean saw the knots on each of the ends as Rowena draped them over her arm.

“Here’s the soul bonding part, okay? Do you wish to be bound this way? Remember, these cords are not forever but the itself bond is.”

Cas, without hesitation, said, “It is.”

Dean followed immediately, albeit with a slight crack in his voice as he was choking up. “It is.” 

They joined hands as Rowena’s eyes began to glow. She draped each cord over their hands, looping and weaving them through. 

A light blue cord from Sam was laid down first, for patience and understanding.

An orange cord from Jack was weaved through second, for adaptability and kindness. 

A red cord from Claire was twisted through, for strength and courage.

And lastly, a grey cord from Mary, for unity and prosperity.

As Rowena bound their hands together in a loose fashion, Dean felt something in his chest. It started out as small hum when she laid down Sam’s cord, working its way up into something more steady and strong as she looped the last of Mary’s cord through.

The hum bloomed and beat in his chest and settled into his stomach. It was patient, kind but not naive, strong willed and stubborn but loving all the same. It was a cool breeze in September and it was filling his lungs with fresh air like had been months since he’s breathed. 

It was a promise, and it was Cas.

“I enchanted these cords to bind your souls and as I tie them together, so your souls be bound together.” Rowena continued but it was sounded muffled to Dean’s ears. She reached underneath their hands and tied the final knot together, saying, “The knot is tied and so are your lives. Woven in with all the support from your family and the trust from each other, you are now bound by your promises and you are as your hearts have always known you to be.”

Rowena closed up her book, sighing happily and smiled. “You may now kiss to complete the bond.”

And they did.


End file.
